Are those your kids?

Dog of the Year!!

2011-12-31T23:52:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to Burt (aka Burts as in Poots 'n Burts), our Dallas rescue boy! After all the ballots were in, Burt ranked the highest across the categories of looks, personality and behaviors, proving that rescues make great pets. Previous to joining our family, Burt was roaming the streets of Dallas, where he ended up in a kill shelter. With his days ticking away, he came to Spokane as part of a partnership with Spokanimal Care. Lucky for us, I needed dog food the day he was at Petco. He's still a shy boy, and does lift his leg indoors more than we would like (we would prefer never).

Abby (aka Abby Dabbers, The Dabbler, Dabba Doo), our former pregnant foster momma, came in with a strong second place. Abby became a permanent part of our family just yesterday when her placement didn't work out. I was secretly glad because I love her so much! All her puppies have been placed in great homes, and I have no doubt that Abby will be fighting for first place next year.

The Pooter (aka Poot, Poots, Spike) came in third which is really no surprise considering all the boys voted this year. He's a super fat brick, baby hippo, but we really love him.

In order the results were:

Burt
Abby
Spike
Lilly
Helen
Bea
Cluny

I'm sure Bea was in last place because she loves me the best and all the kids are super jealous. It's so obvious! I don't care. She's always #1 in my book.

So, here's to Burt--2011 Dog of the Year!

Burt on his adoption day at Petco. Scott had no idea. Oops!

The surveys just after they'd been tallied!

Happy Holidays and all that jazz...

2011-12-19T18:16:00.000-08:00

I thought I better do a holiday post since we're about ready to send out our cards and it directs people here for more info. The problem is, it's been so hectic since school started, I haven't had time to add any info. So I'll try to recap the past year here, so anyone who cares can catch up:

After being back at work for 2+ years, Scott is back home again full-time. The two paychecks was dreamy (think luxuries like bathroom spray!), but our house was in slight chaos. We just have too much going on at home to not have at least one parent there. Truth be told, both of us could be home full-time and barely have time to mop the floor. Here's hoping we win the lottery in 2012! And we're also hoping for a minimal number of declines at the grocery check out.

School ended and then started again, and for the first time, we have no kiddos at home during the day! Everyone is in full-time school. Of course, there are typically anywhere from 12 to 40 appointments in any given month, someone home with a cold or a half-day or holiday of some sort, so the 6 hour window of bliss rarely goes uninterrupted. Scott is able to get a run in--once and awhile.
The kids range in age from 6 to 29. Our two youngest, Kiki and William, are in 1st grade, and our oldest (at home), Emma, will be graduating in June 2012. She's off to study Environmental Engineering at Washington State University in the Fall. Very exciting times! And we'll have to cook for ourselves, which could be scary.
Emma (17), our senior, is a member of the Mead High School marching band, wind ensemble, Model United Nations, Gay Straight Alliance and works for a local animal sanctuary, River's Wish, run by some friends of ours. She also plays varsity tennis and was MVP last year.
Bektu (16), a freshman this year, made the Color Guard as part of the marching band, and traveled to Disneyland for the first time. After being the US for just three years, she's an honors student and has competed in gymnastics, cross country and track.
Ginny (15) is also a freshman this year, and continues to excel in gymnastics. She's on the Mead gymnastics team and still competes in club gymnastics. She's exploring her interests in high school and really likes all the options. She's an awesome student and is looking forward to driver's ed this summer with Bektu.
Selena (13) is in 7th grade and is really enjoying the middle school environment. She's meeting friends from different schools and trying out all kinds of activities. So far she's done volleyball and is ready for basketball after the holiday break. She also joined a competitive cheer team and will be traveling to some fun competitions in 2012. Selena is also a great student and is just beginning to discover all her talents.
Zella (11) continues to compete in club gymnastics and is a Level 8 this season (10 is the highest). Her tricks are bigger and scarier, but mostly for us, not for her. She's also on an AAU basketball team, the Spokane Crush (and currently recuperating from a concussion she suffered at the last game). She's in 6th grade and enjoys school and does a great job balancing her studies with all her activities.
Koby (10) is in 5th grade and is proving himself to be a prolific reader and writer. He recently talked us into adopting a parakeet by writing an engaging story about budgies. He loves all things electronic, especially any Wii game, but we often find him at the table with a book and a bowl of cereal, his silky blue blanket curled up on his head.
Malachi (10) is also in the 5th grade and was a member of the Lego League this year. He can put anything together, with hardly a glance at the directions, is the family go to for any Transformer transformations and an excellent artist. His detailed drawings of dragons, monsters and other made up creatures are so detailed--he really has a gift.
Wyatt (9) is doing great after his most recent surgery--a bone graft for his cleft. He'll be on rest for another 6 weeks, but you can't kill this kids attitude! He absolutely loves school, and despite his early deprivation, is making leaps and bounds in his learning. It's great to see! He did baseball last spring with Carter and really liked it.
Carter (9) was called the "most polite 3rd grader" his teacher ever met this year. Wow! And it's true. He's always got a please or thank you to hand out. He really liked baseball as well and is trying out swim team at our local YMCA, which he calls his "best sport ever".
Adaecia (7) is in 2nd grade now and doing great. Her teachers continue to be baffled by her adult-like sarcasm (as are we), and she's turned out to be quite the swimmer. She was on a competitive team for a while but we moved to the YMCA program as racing wasn't her thing. You'd never know it however, because she's determined to out paddle everyone--especially the boys in her class.
Willam (6) is in 1st grade and the resident wild man. He gives his big sisters the what for whenever they are in charge and was a whirlwind on the soccer team this Fall--a good way to get the energy out. He's a great student and really seems to love learning. He and Carter are like wrestling magnets. Whenever they are in the same room, WHAM! They are attached and wrestling.
Kiki (6) is the baby of the family, and this role suits her quite well. She's an awesome student and had a great time playing soccer this Fall, coached by her older cousin Renesha. She's a real sweetheart deep down inside and she knows exactly what she wants--which we keep telling ourselves will serve her well someday...

Other than the kids, we're up to seven dogs...yes seven. We took in a foster dog this Fall who had five puppies, which we found homes for. For those of you thinking it, yes, Scott is actually a Saint. He puts up with all my dogs, and even lets my tiny chihuahua sleep with us and vacation with us.

We've still got the miniature horses and the goats, as well as three birds. The boys are lobbying hard for a turtle or a lizard, but I continue to hold strong on the NO. Having been raised with alligators and pythons, I'm just not sure I want to head down that path. Needless to say, I just received a fabulous report on turtles from Malachi in hopes of persuading me. Great report. Still no.

So there you have it...the big look back at 2011. I feel like some sort of music should be playing. Not Justin Bieber or anything. Maybe some Ke$ha. We're off to the YMCA to double-dip on exercise and showers. Our house is awfully small during Christmas break...

Here's a collection of some photos from throughout the year:

Tootie giving Selena a "backrub".

One of Malachi's drawings.

After Zella beat everyone in our family, it was time to give Tony a try.

Abby, our foster dog, and her five puppies.

Three dogs in a small Costco bed.


The whole crew at Thanksgiving, including Kim, Lisa, their husbands, Kim's daughter Zalia and Cousin Margo. Oh, and Helen.

Our weekend getaway to Portland...dreamy. No kids for almost 3 days.

Lying

2011-07-22T00:03:00.000-07:00

It's been a hard week. I'll start by saying that I really, really hate lying. It makes me so angry. As you can imagine, with 12 kids, there is bound to be some lying taking place. This was one of those weeks when it seemed like more lying than usual. It wasn't really, but it seemed that way.

I was furious with the boys about some lying that took place. None of them would admit to it. We have someone mysterious in our home named "Not Me" and that person seems to be responsible for most everything. Well "Not Me" was at it again, and Mom was pissed.

I went to bed on Monday filled with worry and dread, wondering in my children had no moral compass. One even said he didn't have a conscience. What? Of course, he doesn't know what he's saying, but my natural anxious self dreaded, "Could it be true?" After all, they all lie so easily and about really silly stuff. Stuff that doesn't even matter!

What a difference three days makes. It turns out my boys are really nice kids who do have consciences. Tonight, inspired by a discussion with my son's therapist, I had the chance to talk with each one of them individually. We talked about lying and trust. We talked about how bad you can feel inside when you lie. Each one of them cried and finally admitted their silly lie. We hugged it out and I breathed a sigh of relief. My kids are good. They are loving. They care.

It really is normal for kids to lie. I know I did it. My husband did it. I have heard countless stories about the exploits of my father and his brothers--many involving lying (funny, but a lot of the stories are about my dad lying, not so much his brothers).

Tonight, I had a glimpse of the awesome men my boys can become and how great it is going to be to watch them grow. I'm going to sleep well having seen the demonstration of their ability to tell the truth.

Beach vaca

2011-07-19T22:13:00.001-07:00

We had a great time at the beach this year. It was a real treat to get away and spend some downtime near the ocean. This year we went to Long Beach, WA. We stayed in a ginormous house which was great--and if you can believe it--I was actually happy to get back to our smaller home. So much room was making me a bit nervous. But the extra bathrooms were nice. Just don't want to have to clean more than two.

Two of the days it rained non-stop, which I personally enjoyed. Nothing like laying around reading all day. We went on some hikes in the State Parks there. Really amazing.

The long drive, especially home, is still a teency bit painful. I volunteered to drive the boys and Adaecia. Bektu bravely volunteered to be my co-pilot. I think it went better than the last time we attempted a long drive. Bu the way home is always more antsy--and it was 8+ hours.

This year was especially nice as my Aunt and Uncle from Los Angeles joined us for a few days. The kids just loved having them. They took part in our s'mores roast and ate dinners with us. It was really nice to have all the kids meet them.

Unfortunately, our niece, who was housesitting/petsitting for us, didn't fare as well. The dogs were kind of butts to her, barking at all hours of the night and generally being difficult. She even lost a pair of shoe to Burt the Terrible Shoe Chewer.

So it was nice to get away and it's really nice to be home.

Here's some pics of our adventure.

A family weekend...

2011-07-06T00:29:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, we celebrated Tootie's 7th birthday. Hard to believe she's that old already. Of course, the highlight for her is getting to swim at the Y on her own while I workout. We've been three times since her bday. She says she wants to swim every night!

We celebrated with her extended family--her birth brothers and sisters, who gathered at our house for a hot dog BBQ and a big water slide. The kids all had a blast and it was great to catch up with our "in-laws". I'm not sure what else to call all these people, as they are more than friends. We really are all family.

We've been fortunate that each of her siblings has been adopted by families support of ongoing contact and relationship building. This weekend, we welcomed the newest family into our group. I'm sure it was overwhelming for them, but it was good to see all the kids together.

As typical, I was too unorganized to take pictures, but over the years, I've gotten especially lazy about this because my good friend and "sister in-law" brings her camera and takes great pics. So thanks Susie!

It's always a hectic day and our yard and house gets all primped for the occasion, but I feel fortunate to know so many great families. So thanks to all of you for coming and sharing the day with us.

William

Scott & Emma

Koby

Mainee, Shyah & Tootie

Selena

The birthday girl

Experience the chaos...

2011-06-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

Here's a small taste of our daily chaos. The dogs barking, the cockatiel chirping, music blaring, kids giggling and dancing. LOVE IT!!

Summer vacation? My husband is going to need one soon...

2011-06-20T21:48:00.000-07:00

Why, when there are nearly 12 weeks of summer, did I schedule all the activities for Week 1? Seriously. As we sat down to a mighty late Father's Day Dinner (9:30pm!) I realized that my Outlook calendar I had so carefully created 2 weeks previous was not going to cut it. Not only that, it was making things way more confusing. What we needed was a true itinerary, complete with passenger lists, departure and arrival times. So at 11:30pm last night I opened up Excel and got busy. And you know what? I actually enjoyed it. That's how you know deep down you're meant to parent 12 kids. Because the constant chaos and conflict is a challenge I truly love. Not that I don't get exhausted every now and then, but dang, that Excel spreadsheet was deeply gratifying. I was quite proud of myself, so I wanted to share...(click to enlarge)

And Scott deserves a big round of applause! Man, he rocked it today. He totally rallied when I forgot to buy the baseball snacks. In between all the running around he darted into Costco with four kids in tow, picked up the snacks AND had an iced up cooler waiting in the car for the juice packs. Wowee! I was impressed. We make a pretty good team...I feel pretty guilty that I was surrounded by adults all day in a peaceful office environment.

And Emma was wicked awesome to boot. She ran the household, making lunches and keeping things organized at home. She even got dinner started. That girl needs a raise! Oh, wait, she gets to drive the Prius, so I guess we're even. Ha ha. So glad Week 2 is waaaay less hectic.

The apology

2011-05-24T09:30:00.000-07:00

I think this letter speaks for itself (click to enlarge):

I am glad he was clear on the fact that he was our son, Koby C. I might have gotten him confused with some other Koby.

Seriously...

2011-05-18T22:34:00.001-07:00

Tonight I am laying here in bed, after changing my sheets due to dog barf, wondering when on earth we will be able to remove the video surveillance from our boys' room.

Apparently not any time soon.

One of our sons thought it was not only okay to slash his window screen up with a knife, but he also thought it was okay to hide said knife under his pillow. A very sharp knife I might add...

This is not only not smart, but also quite dangerous, as we just got done pointing out to him in relatively loud voices.

And while the $18 in allowance he just forked over will hardly cover the cost of repairing the damage, it is a start. We have to now think of some additional consequences for this ridiculous action.

Can I just say that my girls never think of doing something so ridiculous? At least not yet...

Geez. It's only Wednesday.

Mother's Day

2011-05-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day, like my children's birthdays, is always a day of mixed feelings for me. I guess this is because it is really not all about me. Not that I even want it to be. It's just not the same holiday for me as it is for other mothers. To me, it's a day I share gladly with all the first moms out there--the ones who had my kids at the beginning of their lives. Some had them for longer than others. Some are living. Some are not. While I don't know details about all of them, what I can imagine is they had their own challenges and choices--choices that were no doubt difficult for one reason or the other. For the first moms that I do know personally, I know this to be true. I know it was a painful, uwanted choice for a very wanted child. This is the yin and yang of adoption. My happiness comes with someone else's sadness, and my children are in the middle.

On Mother's Day, I like to talk about the first moms, whether my kids do or not. Some are disinterested, while others who knew their moms for longer might be sad. The loss is maybe bigger on this day. I don't make it into a super big deal--I just like to mention it. I think it's important to acknowlege these other very important women openly so if there are questions I can answer them the best I can.

In adopted families, it is always about a much bigger family. Now, some may disagree with this approach, and I admit, each adoptive family has a different situation. Sometimes there are difficult facts involved and every family has to find their way around this. For our family, we're most comfortable talking openly about this. That's one of the hidden benefits of having 12 adopted kids. There's plenty of siblings to share your story with. You don't have to feel alone. I hope as they grow, they will be able to rely on each other for support and sharing.

So as I sat at the dining room table, carefully unwrapping all the wonderful school-made treasures my kids laid before me, I thought about the other moms out there and about my kids that might be missing them. I cherish each of these trinkets--the handmade placemats, the painted pots, the shoe gardens--and I wish I could share these gifts with them in some way. I always hope they aren't grieving too much and they know their children are safe and loved. And for the ones that are still with us, I hope they are doing better so that one day they can connect on this special day if that's what my children choose.

Laughs

2011-05-01T19:42:00.001-07:00

Tootie kills me. When trying on my reading glasses she says to me, "Do I look boring?" Couldn't stop laughing.

My gray hair

2011-04-21T22:38:00.001-07:00

I don't really have the time, money or interest in hiding my gray hair. There's no stopping it anyway. It's going to come. My son Koby noticed it the other day."Mom, is that gray hair on your head?" , he asked like he was genuinely concerned."Yep," I replied. "Wow, that's a lot. How did you get it?" "From you," I said. End of story? Not really.
Last night at the Y, we ran into our old Nanny, who is now married and expecting a baby herself. Koby was so excited to see her. We haven't seen her in years. He ran to her and gave her a big hug. He pulled away from her and looked up at her face and said, "Mom has lots of gray hair. She's 45 and she's old now."
Are you kidding me?

A day at the park

2011-04-17T14:34:00.001-07:00

We live in a great place!

Big fam recipe favorites

2011-04-16T20:22:00.000-07:00

Right after "Are those your kids?", the most popular question is "What is dinner like at your house?" Well, besides the obvious answers like "loud" and "messy", it's really not that different than dinner at anyone's house. Spaghetti, soup, chili. You know--the basics. There's just more of it. Also important, I don't like to cook and neither does Scott. This could pose a serious problem with 12 hungry kids. Luckily, our older girls help out and I'm all about easy and economical.

With that in mind, I thought I would share some of our favorite recipes:

Conley Carbonara (modified for picky eaters)
1 package spaghetti noodles
1 package ham lunch meat
Parmesan cheese
Garlic
Butter
Salt & Pepper
Eggs (we use about 10)

Cook spaghetti noodles according to package. Heat butter in skillet and add garlic. Cut ham into small squares (we use kitchen scissors) and saute in butter/garlic. This is the place where you would add other tasty things if you didn't have picky eaters...like olives or mushrooms or zucchini.* Beat eggs in bowl. Drain spaghetti and add to skillet. It's easier to mix if you cut it. Mix with ham/garlic/butter. Pour eggs over noodles evenly. Let sit for a few minutes and then start mixing again. Once the egg is cooked add the parmesan cheese, salt and pepper to taste. That's it!

*Note: when I say picky eaters, it includes me! I hate mushrooms and olives.

Easy Enchiladas
Corn tortillas
Pinto beans
Diced green chilis
Enchilada sauce
Grated cheese

Preheat oven to 350. Grease baking pan. Drain pinto beans and add to mixing bowl. Add diced green chilis and grated cheese. Microwave corn tortillas so they are soft and fold easily. Spoon pinto bean mixture and roll, then place in pan. When pan is full, pour enchilada sauce over enchiladas. It's easier if you use a small ladle. Sprinkle with cheese on top. Cover with foil and cook for about 45 minutes. Serve with spanish rice and corn.

*You can also make cheese only, beef or chicken enchiladas.

Tuna Casserole
Solid white tuna
Curly pasta
Mayo
Lemon juice
Tomato
Zuchini
Cheddar cheese
Salt & pepper

Preheat oven to 350. Grease baking pan. Boil water and cook pasta to directions. Drain tuna. Dice tomatoes. Slice zuchini into small, thin slices. Drain pasta and add to mixing bowl. Add tuna and zuchini and mix slightly. Add mayo so it slightly coats pasta (use light mayo if you want). Add lemon juice, salt & pepper. Add cheddar cheese and mix. At the very end, add tomato and mix slightly, so you don't mush the tomatoes. Pour into baking pan and cook for one hour, until hot and bubbly.

Emma's Soup

Ingredients
2 cans kidney beans

Zucchini, sliced
1 can crushed tomatoes
1 onion
1 bag pasta shells
Salt
Pepper
Garlic
Olive oil

Red chili flakes
Basil
Dill

Vegetable Stock or

Broth

Water

Fresh Parmesan

Directions
Saute onions, garlic and spices in the soup pot with some olive oil. Add vegetable stock or cans of vegetable broth. Add water. Bring to a boil. Add Kidney Beans and pasta. Add Zucchini. Cook until al dente. Top with fresh parmesan cheese. Serve with fresh rolls of your choice.

Some other things that we eat most weeks, but don't really require a recipe:

Deluxe burrito bar--anything you like and just roll it up!
Baked potato bar & salad--bacon bits, broccoli, the works. Fill the empty skins with salad and clean your plate. Delicious.
Burgers on the grill and fresh fruit.

See, it's pretty much what any family might eat. Got some recipes to share? Post them here!

Girls can be so moody...

2011-04-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

I know I must have blogged about this before, I'm sure. I feel too lazy to search back through all my posts. I know I need to use labels more. Tonight I will start. For sure.

Girls can be so darn moody, can't they? Our five oldest girls range in age from 11 to 17. Yes, you read that right. Moody central. Especially at certain times of the month, if you know what I'm saying...and I thought diapers were pricey. Hah! My girls are wonderful. They really, really are. The times I get to spend with them doing "girl stuff" are great. But they can be challenging too. Those are the times they really make me appreciate my boys. (Not that I don't already, I just value them extra sometimes--but that's a topic for a different blog).

Some of the girls have come to us as infants, some as teenagers--and all ages in between. Some are from the USA, some from China, some from Ethiopia. Some have been here for years and years, while others joined our family not so long ago. It's really a lot for any teen or pre-teen to manage. Heck, it can be a lot for us to manage.

The girls can bicker, fight, sneer, dismiss, ignore, slam, whine, cry, torture, disdain and isolate like you wouldn't believe. They do this with each other and they do this with us. Some of them do this to their brothers or to their little sisters, who I am sure are taking it all in. And just when we think we can't take it anymore, they will giggle, scream, laugh hysterically, talk, play games, watch movies, share clothes, give hugs, apologize, help out unexpectedly and make us beam with pride. At these times, it's so easy to forget the more challenging times. I look at them, with all their diverse interests and personalities and just wonder who they will be when they are grown. I feel so excited for them and all they will accomplish.

I also know that they will have some amazing coping skills when they go out into the world, whether they realize it or not right now.

I love finding this stuff on my computer!

2011-04-02T22:00:00.000-07:00

The kids are always taking pictures of themselves with the Mac. I found this one today and loved seeing it. Ginny is certainly a beautiful girl! It's hard to believe she's 14 already and heading into high school next year. It seems she was just a pissed off two year old throwing her shoes at me yesterday. And now, she's a happy (mostly), hardly ever tantruming young woman with amazing creativity and grace. She's still a princess at heart, prone to all things frilly and foo foo. I think she's seen Tangled about thirty times. She's a special girl. I love her so much!

Girl's night out

2011-04-02T21:52:00.001-07:00

This is a test to see if I can blog from my phone. The girls and I attempted to ring in spring last weekend with a mani-pedi night. (It works! Sweet!)

New shoes...

2011-04-02T21:45:00.000-07:00

So, this may come as a shock to those of you who know me well, but I've started running. Well, I don't know if others would refer to it as running. It's more like the motions of running, but really, really slow. Slower than jogging probably. But I'm doing it. And almost every day. So I'm pretty psyched. Scott got me a sweet new pair of shoes for my birthday. My running coach (Anna from work--thanks so much!) suggested them. She's been coaching a group of us on Fridays. It's been pretty fun and something that I never thought I would do. But turning 45 and being really out of shape has changed my attitude.

Actually, my attitude changed on January 1, when I committed to getting healthier for this herd of kiddos. My mom got me a great book for Christmas called Younger Next Year for Women by Chris Crowley and Dr. Harry Lodge. Have you read it? Well, if you are in your 30s, 40s or even 50s, you should. It's a life changer. It was for me anyway. A super great read and so full of great information. There's a men's version too. Highly recommend.

I have been having fun with the exercise, and started weight training about 6 weeks ago, along with the running/jogging. A couple times of week I'm meeting my friend Sandra at work and we hit the treadmills at 7am. The company we work for has an awesome gym and women's locker room, so we can shower and be at desks by around 8am. It's been pretty fun. And the 30lbs I've lost since the beginning of the year is pretty cool too. Lots more to go, but one super slow run at a time.

Bit

2011-04-02T21:34:00.000-07:00

This week I got to go to the ER! Our dear Puggle, Spike, aka "The Poot", was enjoying a dig in the garbage after dinner. He sure loves pasta! He can be a bit surly around food, so the kids typically won't attempt to get him out. I came in and grabbed him by the collar and WHAM! Off to the ER with my dear mother I went.

Luckily, it only took about 2 1/2 hours. Needed a shot, some irrigation and a weeks worth of antibiotics. It's looking pretty good now...some bruising. I think there's a bit of nerve damage because it feels weird too, but I think that will go away.

Carter announced that the Poot has bitten him "about 11 times". Really? That's not good. Of course he hasn't broken the skin, but still. This is the way he deals with getting his way. He's a lot like some of the kids, as a matter of fact. Scott asked for a show of hands on who had been bitten by the Poot. About 10 hands went up. I'm betting everyone but Scott has had a nip. It's definitely time for action.

Needless to say, the Pooter needs some training. He's also made three escapes down the street this week and it's only a matter of time before he gets clipped by a speeding car. The boys can't seem to figure out how to keep the garage door closed. So, we'll be focusing on some Poot training for the next few weeks. I've DVR'd a bunch of "Dog Whisperer" episodes and I think I"ll sign him up for some more training this summer. But it's us that needs the training...not really him. Wish us luck!

Some tough times

2011-03-27T18:11:00.000-07:00

The past few months have been rough, as we've been dealing with some emerging adoption issues, primarily around grief and loss, but possibly some even deeper things. While I won't mention specifics around which child or what specifically has been going on, I will say that while it was totally expected that we would cross this road eventually, it is still not easy. In fact, some of the choices we've had to make as parents were the most difficult I've ever faced. That being said, we are in a much better place now and the kids are doing good.

I share this with not just my fellow adoptive parents, but with all parents because understanding your resources is so critical to parenting. We have come to discover many amazing resources locally and are fortunate to have access to many caring and skilled professionals. When some of the "stuff" started over the past few months, I definitely spent some time feeling sorry for myself and wondering what the heck I had been thinking adopting 12 kids--not that I regret any of them. But I looked around at all the "normal" families with their two or even three kids and thought, "Wow. That would be so nice and easy." Not that this isn't nice. It can just be really hard. But honestly, we have gotten through this and I do know there will be more "stuff" to come over the years. It's definitely made us stronger as parents.

There are a couple of great books I recommend. I've read them both a couple of times. They are both excellent resources, along with local specialists who can support you through difficult times:

Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special-Needs Kids--A guide for Parents and Professionals
Wounded Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families

Back to one income...

2011-03-27T17:54:00.000-07:00

Well, after an almost 2-year experiment of both of us working, we are back to one income. It was just too difficult to manage 12 kids with two full-time jobs. What I found out is that many people thought both of us working full-time was crazier than having 12 kids. Well, maybe not crazier...but crazy, never the less. Between doctor, dentist and therapy appointments, it was all too much to keep up with. While I was more than willing to be the one to stay home, that just wasn't financially feasible, given that I make more money (darn it!). So, Scott is back to being a full-time job--something that will be an adjustment for him all over again.

And it will be hard to say goodbye to those two paychecks. I just can't remember the last time our debit card was declined at the grocery store. Hah! Koby said to me, "Mom, are we ever NOT going to be on a budget?" No, Koby, that will never be the case. Unless we win the lottery of course. Not doing so good at that, unfortunately. But we've got a great retirement plan, so we are fortunate. With 12 kids, we just have to divide our time with each of them monthly. If each of them can commit to feeding us for a month when they are adults, we'll be good.

I'm also re-committing to my blog. Facebook has stolen away my time, and frankly, I'm pretty bored with that scene. I'm going to start blogging again more regularly. In the meantime, here are some recent pics of the happenings around our house and what Scott has to look forward to:

The boys crew.

The little ladies.

Zella in her usual mood.

Bektu thinking about it all.

Spike, ready for his close up.

My sweet gifts

2011-03-24T21:27:00.000-07:00

Today's my birthday and I received so many sweet gifts from my kiddos. Of course, the hugs were the absolute best, but I also received a Pokeman card from Malachi. He said, "I picked the cutest one for you mom." Love that kid. It came with a card that included pictures of sharks and some scary mythical pictures. He's such an artist. Wyatt made me an origami stegosaurus, which was darling. Carter beaded me a lovely bracelet. I think I'll wear it to work tomorrow. William made a bracelet too, but decided it should be a necklace for BeaBea. She looks lovely in it. He also made me a darling card. Kiki made me a bracelet as well, although it only fits on two fingers. That's okay. She also gave me half a piece of chocolate. I wonder what happened to the other half? Kiki also told Scott that he needed to give me flowers, so I received a colorful bouquet of carnations. So sweet!

The older girls helped with dinner and dishes. Now the best part is about to begin: chocolate cake!

The simplest happiness...

2010-12-27T00:59:00.000-08:00

Of course the holidays is a time for obvious joy. You get to spend so much time with family and there's the presents...and all the food. Some people are religious, so that brings about a certain joy as well, I imagine. Over the past few days I have had the distinct pleasure of noticing some real moments of happiness, and they were definitely small and unexpected. This is not to say that there wasn't much happiness over the holidays with all our kids. It's just that I noticed some particular times and they were so mundane and ordinary, yet totally so happy, I had to write them down.

On the day before Christmas Eve, I was running errands with about six of the kids. It was no small feat braving Costco to get rolls and pies. We also hit Fred Meyer and as we were heading to the car, the kids all gathered around the cart, horsing around with each other, trying to be the first one to touch the car, I just caught myself smiling and enjoying them so much. They all have such unique personalities, and they were all excited about Christmas and the loads of sparkling cider we bought. I just wanted to freeze that moment and remember it. Their laughing was so cute and contagious.

Then, just tonight, I was in the office, which is next to our kitchen. Some of the boys and our two littlest girls were at the kitchen table, playing with Legos. They were all laughing and pretending and creating, and it was so much fun to listen to. I don't have any idea what one of our sons was saying, but he just kept repeating some funny thing in a very weird voice, over and over. It was just so silly. You know how it is...sometimes when they do things like that, you have to shout, "Knock it off. You're driving me crazy." But tonight, the silliness was so funny. And he was being so goofy, which is generally a luxury for this particular child. I could tell that he was happy and enjoying himself, which made me really happy. I worry about him a lot, so it was even more appreciated. It was another moment to freeze.

So now that it's uber late and I'm trying to fall asleep, I just felt like writing down how much I love all these kids and this crazy life and family of ours. While it is not for everyone to have 12 (actually, 14) kids and 6 dogs (oh yeah, if you're not on Facebook, you don't know about Burt yet...he's number 6), it is actually just the perfect life for us. At the risk of being all mushy and sentimental, which I hardly ever am, I have the greatest husband to share all this with. Each one of these kids is just so cool.

It seems like it took me so long to embrace being a parent, which is weird to say since I have 12 kids. People who have known me forever know what I'm saying. I just wasn't all that into being a mom when I was younger. It happened to me one kid at a time, and of course, Scott and I have grown so much as people and as parents...and we continue to grow. But it's really the only thing I want to do anymore--this parenting gig. That's of course hard, because feeding them is expensive, so quitting my job is not really an option. But I am definitely going to be on the lookout for this simplest of happy moments. And when they happen, I'm going to really embrace them.

The luxury of bathroom spray

2010-10-31T20:05:00.000-07:00

Scott's been working full-time since last August. He started back at his old job as a meter reader in a temp position and now he's back on full-time. He loves it. For me, it took some getting used to. For ten years, I had nothing to worry about but work once I left for the day. It was a big adjustment to have to juggle sick kids, doctor appointments, etc. I was thinking Scott would decide he didn't like it, but he found out my big secret--it's way easier to go to work each day.

Koby on the pot circa 2003 with his boots,
car and baseball hat.

Now it's been a year, and we've all adjusted more or less. Having two pay checks is for sure nice. We don't have to stress as much and it's been a long time since Scott's been stranded at the check out stand with six kids, two carts of food and a declined debit card. We actually can go to Costco once and awhile, which is nice. And, one of those luxuries that few appreciate like I do--bathroom spray.

You may think, "What? Bathroom spray?" But I'm telling you what, it's nice to have around. With 14 people and 2 bathrooms, you cannot undervalue what a nice thing this is to have. When you're making your way through the grocery store with a calculator, things like dog biscuits, bathroom spray and brand name ranch dressing are NOT on the list.

Today, I got two bathroom sprays and I was so thrilled. I was literally so excited to have bathroom spray! It's the little things. It really is.

Thinking about Wyatt and smiling...

2010-10-01T22:33:00.000-07:00

Wyatt's first bath at the
hotel in China.

Wyatt was just telling us that he's almost 9 years old. That is really hard to believe. (It's actually not until Dec. 28, but it is getting closer.) It seems like just yesterday he came home from China, a tiny, frail little boy, already 4 1/2 years old, but barely the size of an 18 month old. He had a unilateral cleft lip and cleft palate that had been repaired, and he was clearly delayed, yet amazingly sweet and playful. No attachment issues--he was loved on, and there was no doubt about that. And why wouldn't he be? He's the sweetest kid, and so easy going. But he is not a squeaky wheel, so he did not get the grease.

Emma & Wyatt in China.

Once we arrived home, we hauled him to the local Cleft Clinic (which is an amazing resource by the way--check it out here) and he saw virtually every kind of specialist including genetics and endocrinology. We did lots of tests to determine why he was so tiny, and after lots of blood work, xrays and all kinds of other stuff, the result was pretty simple: failure to thrive. He had lots of deprivation and a total lack of nutrition. His medical condition probably contributed greatly when he was a baby.

Koby & Wyatt just a couple hours
after getting home. He loves to play!

Now, just four years later, he's still crazy sweet and the delays we thought might be a permanent part of his cognitive development are finally fading away. He's got lots of speech therapy ahead of him and a few more surgeries. And a butt load of dental work. We are fortunate to have an amzaing orthodontist, who we highly recommend if you're in the Spokane area (Dr. Joshua Johnson). He also gets some special support at school. But he's on the charts weight and height wise and he eats like a freaking horse! I'm not kidding you. This kid can put the food away. So when he was reminding us today that he'd be 9 in just a couple months, it is sort of hard to believe.

Wyatt with his beloved Mei Mei.

I was thinking about a time when Wyatt had only been home from China a few days, and we traveled next door to say hi to Grandma and look around her house. It was a good change of scenery and an opportunity to see how he did away from "home". My mom gave him a little stuffed Winnie the Pooh and as we were walking back home, I was trying to tell him that it was "Winnie the Pooh". Every time I said "Pooh", he would quickly flip the stuffed bear over and look at its butt. Then he would look up at me all confused. I couldn't figure out what he was doing, so I kept repeating "Winnie the Pooh". This went on for a few minutes before I clued in that he thought I was saying this stuffed bear was pooping. Hilarious. Clearly one of his first English words was poop! Figures around our house...Needless to say, it was quite awhile before he understood the nuances of the 100 Acre Wood.

Wyatt was not part of our plan. We had not planned to go back to China to adopt and we had not planned on a kid with special needs. But the phone rang (thanks Kathy Storro!), and Wyatt's picture came across my e-mail. I came home from work that night and showed it to Scott. He said, "What??? I thought we were adopting from Africa." Well, we had planned on that, but we put that off for a year and Scott and Emma headed to China. I can't imagine not having Wyatt in our lives. He is a truly amazing and wonderful child, as are all his brothers and sisters. It just goes to show, you never know what road you'll end up on.

This way and that...

2010-09-16T21:52:00.000-07:00

The school year is off with a bang and the kids are going this way and that. I miss sitting down to dinner with everyone. I guess there's always Saturday! Here's the run down:

Emma's got marching band 2x's per week and she took all AP classes this year
Bektu has cross country every day and gymnastics 2x's per week
Ginny has gymnastics 2x's per week and art club (soon)
Selena as hip hop 1x per week and tap 1x per week
Zella has gymnastics 4x's per week (she's competing again this year) and AAU basketball 1x
Koby has soccer 2x's per week and a game every Saturday
Malachi has gymnastics 1x per week
Wyatt has speech therapy 1x per week and gymnastics 1x per week
Carter has gymnastics 1x per week
Adaecia has gymnastics 1x per week
Kiki has gymnastics 1x per week
William...oops! I forgot to sign William up for something. Doh!

Oh well, I'm sure poor William will get over it. He's busy enough just running around the house. We seem to spend most evenings in the car. I'm sure the gas costs will be higher this year. Not very environmentally friendly, that's for sure. But it's really so good for kids to be busy and have activities--especially when that kid is Zella. Because if you don't keep her busy, the house might fall apart.

With Scott working full-time this year, it's been a lot to get used to. I'm also teaching P/T online, and with all the homework for the kids, we pretty much fall into bed every night exhausted. I haven't even watched the season finale of True Blood and its' Thursday! Seriously. That's just wrong. It for sure feels harder this year, but I know it's just the transition off the summer schedule. Before long, we'll be adjusted. (And as I'm typing Scott and the Misspent Youth are rocking in the garage! It's louder than crap, but I like their version of Lay Down Sally...pretty cool).

Sometimes I dream about having a housekeeper/personal assistant. That would be so awesome. Someone to do laundry, start dinner. I need recipes for good casseroles and easy crock pot stuff that can just "be ready" when the kids are--we're in and out until 9pm most nights. So if anyone has some, send them my way. Or a chef. That would be cool too. And really appreciated.

I think the dogs might be having a hard time adjusting because this is the first time for most of them that no one has been home during the day. Of course Grandma is right next door and lets them out and Stacy stops by now and again too. I think they mostly just sleep. Sounds good to me.

The Prairie View gang waiting for the bus. Kiki & William have

afternoon Kindergarten, so they go to care in the a.m.

Cluny and Lilly live the tough life.

I make this up as I go along

2010-09-13T23:36:00.000-07:00

I admit it. This is how I've been feeling lately. It's because some of my kids are now teens. I knew it was coming but I was not prepared. Not really. I have done my reading. I have watched all the movies. I read the blogs. But there is no way for me to truly, deeply understand how my child feels when she says to me, "I don't want to go in there. I am the only brown one." I think admitting that I am at a loss is the best thing I can do. I don't have the answers. I can only say, "I'm sorry. I wish it wasn't that way. I wish I could help you with that." But in many ways, I can't.

We are not in a position to pick up and move. Besides, most of our kids are at an age where they would probably kill us if we did. They are cemented in with friends, routines, relatives. And truth be told, there are some that don't have these feelings for whatever reason. I can't tell you what make them different in that regard.

I also most surely know that they keep things from us. They don't always tell us how they feel. As often as I try to say, "You don't have to feel about about feeling bad that your parents are white," they still might not tell me. And that's okay. I am just really glad they have each other.

I think the thing that I've been thinking about lately is that maybe I am beginning to have a completely alternative view of adoption. Maybe this happens quite often to experienced adoptive parents. I'll have to poke around and see. I would never give up the experience of parenting my children for the world. I love each and every one of them so fiercely. But adoption happened, in each of their cases, for a reason that was undoubtedly sad, and sometimes even horrible. It's a weird way to feel...because I know it would be better if their adoption did not have to happen. If they could have lived happy, safe and healthy lives with their families of origin. But that wasn't in the cards.

Transracial adoption in America is entering an entirely different era. An era of greater acceptance (by who, I don't know...so maybe I mean more common), of greater popularity, of more experience. But it doesn't seem like we know enough still. Or that we're being told enough. Or maybe it's that there's really nothing you can say. You have to live through it. You have to love your kids and support them and be there for them...and apologize to them sometimes. I'm sorry I don't look like you. I am sorry that makes you uncomfortable and that's one more thing you have to deal with on top of being adopted, on top of being a teenager in general, because that can suck all by itself. I'm sorry that getting older means you realize more of life's ugly truths. There is poverty, violence, hatred and ignorance out there. Growing up can also be just plain no fun. Bills to pay, responsibilities, a future to ponder. And on top of all of it, I really don't get you because we just don't look alike.

It's late and I'm pretty much rambling I know. But I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm the same as any parent who worries about their kids. It's just that none of my kids look like me.

Drama

2010-09-08T22:42:00.000-07:00

Tonight, our daughter was furious. I'm not sure why or how she got so furious, but it's not unusual. She has a hard time controlling her temper, boxes herself into a corner, and frankly, given all she's experienced, has lots of reasons to be mad. Mostly it's misdirected, much too emotional anger. Tonight, it was directed at us. It can catch you off guard.

I apparently had signed her up for a dance class that was too hard and had girls that were way older than her. The last one was way too easy and slow and boring and dumb. We talked a lot about quitting, trying, sticking with things. So we dropped her off (it was one of those shuffling nights, so no time to settle her in) and she stood there for an hour feeling bad and like she had no class that would fit. Like she was the only brown girl in a sea of white girls who hip hopped better than she did. That she had nothing of her own that she was good at. This turned into not having a family that fits, or a place in life that fits, and when her dad picked her up an hour later and questioned her, all hell broke loose.

Soon there were doors slamming and screaming and shouting. In the front yard. Yes. In the front yard, screaming that she hates us, hates her life, hates this family, etc. Of course she doesn't at all. But when you're 12 and your mom died suddenly only a few years ago, and you're transplanted across the world with a white family and 11 other siblings, and you are emotional, and tired from a new school year, and have homework and might be PMS-y, this can happen.

So if you're a dad who is tired and grouchy, or a mom who's had enough attitude, it can quickly escalate. Tonight Scott got to be the bad guy, and I got to work it out. Which I did. And it was fine. And there were hugs and apologies. We'll need to keep talking about emotion and communicating. Of course, there were five boys that needed showers, two little girls who wanted a snuggle and more kids that needed to be picked up and have homework signed. Dogs were barking, boys were wrestling, laundry was piled up to the ceiling. So why am I blogging? So I can get it all off my chest and sleep.

Plus, mostly, someday I want my daughter to read this and know that I really mean all the things I said to her tonight. I love her. I wish she could still have her first mom. I know it's hard. Being a teenager is hard. I don't know what it's like to be one of the only brown girls at dance class, but I know it must be hard. I wish it wasn't this way. I want her to be happy. Being happy doesn't mean you're cheating on your first family. Enjoying your new life and your new family isn't betrayal. But it can feel that way. It's a lot to deal with on top of just being a normal 12 year old girl.

Off to bed...

It wasn't as hectic as I thought...

2010-09-07T20:34:00.000-07:00

Last night, around midnight, I sat looking at today's schedule...the infamous 1st day of school, and I was basically hyperventillating. The daytime was easy--every last kid went to school. I worked from home and it was so quiet! Except for the five dogs. It was the evening shuffling from soccer, to band practice, from cross country, to gymnastics, from gymnastics, etc. that had me a bit freaked. Because with 12 kids and an overzealous mom signing them up for their activities, it can get a bit hairy. It seems we have something every night of the week. What was I thinking???

Plus, I scheduled a doctor appointment for Scott in the middle of it all. That was dumb. But it went surprisingly well, and I have confidence that we'll swing back into the grind of back to school just like we do each year. I'm wondering if the house will stay cleaner now that the kids are at school all day. Nah. Just a thought...

Of course, within the first half hour of them arriving home, as 12 info packets were tossed my way to complete and return by tomorrow, Selena had stormed off and slammed the door because I didn't think she had read a book she said she did and Ginny was crying because Selena told her to get out of her room. The boys headed straight for the legos they spent their allowance on yesterday, without even word of a snack. Can Legos really cure hunger? Kiki went to bed early for biting William. The highlight was when William told me all about his new bus driver "Mrs. Tim", who is "very nice but not a girl." Hmmm.

Day 1 and no one has been sent to the Principle's office, although I had a slight scare when Malachi's teacher emailed me to ask if he missed the bus because she thought she heard him being called to the office. "No!!!" the kids assured me..."It was Malachi P"...whew.

Here are some first day of school pics:

Waiting for the bus...

Emma, 11th Grade

Ginny & Bektu, 8th Grade

Kiki & William, Kindergarten

Koby, 4th Grade, Wyatt, 2nd Grade

Carter, 2nd Grade, Malachi, 4th Grade

Tootie, 1st Grade

Selena, 6th Grade, Zella, 5th Grade

From diapers to pads...

2010-09-05T21:48:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that it's almost time for another school year to begin. Our littlest two will be in Kindergarten, and we have no babies at home. It's a strange feeling. I'm not sure I totally like it, but I sort of like it too. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Our oldest will be driving in a matter of weeks--officially. She's been in training for several months and is chomping at the bit to do it for real.

We're completely out of diapers now, with the exception of the nighttime pull up for William. We've fully transitioned to the super bulk packs of pads, with five teenage girls in the house. I am sure they'll cringe if they read this, but it's just the facts. These things happen. FYI--I think pads are more than diapers. Or maybe I've just forgotten.

So, we start the Fall season, which will be jam packed with school, soccer, gymnastics, basketball, marching band and more. It's an exciting time of the year. And it's so much fun to see the kids growing and enjoying things. With each year that passes they learn more about themselves and start to become their future selves. I love that! I love wondering what they will all be and what they will do. It's going to be a super wild ride. And a way fun one!

So disturbing...

2010-07-31T16:28:00.000-07:00

So, I was working out the other day and the woman next to me was talking to another woman about some situation that occurred in a parking lot. I was only half listening, but it was something about some rowdy guys causing a ruckus late at night, and it may have involved some potential casing of cars. The woman telling the story was saying she had to go out and see what was going on on. Then the woman next to me said, "Were they black?" and the woman telling the story said, "No, they were white." And the woman next to me said, "Oh. Well, that surprises me." I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. And here's the worst part: I didn't say anything. I am so disgusted with myself for not asking her why she was surprised. Then I spent the better part of that afternoon thinking about my kids and the kind of hurdles they'll have to face once they are older (as well as some now), and when they are not with me as their mother. I was thinking how having a white mom gives them a pass of some sort in the eyes of women like the one who made these comments. I was thinking how unfair it is that people have those thoughts. I was thinking how I am unable to truly understand how my kids will feel when these things are said in front of them. I was thinking just how complex transracial adoption is and how unprepared we are for the long run. I was thinking that I need to do a better job of speaking up. I was thinking I need to talk to my kids more about race and their experiences growing up black (or asian, or bi-racial, or Ethiopian) in a white family. In a white town. In a white school.

When I came home I was glad to see that I had received the movie Adopted from Netflix. It was perfect timing. Great film. Lots to think about. I also logged on and read some of John Raible's blog as a reminder of the better job I need to do. I'm glad their are voices out there like his for me to access. For those of you out there raising children of color, be sure to remind yourself how unprepared you are, even if you think are prepared. Remind yourself of the better job you need to do.

And the next time I see that woman at the gym, I'm going to be giving her the stink eye.

Thanks, buddy.

2010-06-12T21:04:00.000-07:00

Out of the blue, William just said to Scott, "I just want to let you know, I like you." Scott said, "Thanks buddy. I like you too." Hilarious!

Speaking of then and now...

2010-06-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

I thought it would be only fitting to show Ginny's then and now. Ginny has been in gymnastics for five years now. She competed for three years through Level 5 and then took a year off Team to focus on middle school. She'll be back on the Rec Op Team in Fall 2010.

Ginny came to us as a tiny 2 1/2 year old--she's still tiny! We like to call it petite. Unlike Emma, she'd been living in a welfare type orphanage that cared for the elderly as well as orphans. From what we were told, she'd had her own personal "Grandma" assigned who spoiled her. She was fluent in Chinese and pretty physcially active. It's no wonder she got into gymnastics. But, she was also mad as hell to have some weird looking and sounding woman swoop in and take her away. This anger lasted for several years. We found out, over time, that part of the drama is her innate personality. Well, she's a girl after all. Some of it we've been able to tame through ongoing discussions. Today, at age 13, she's an amazing young woman. She's poised, graceful, thoughtful, focused and still a little dramatic. She's also funny, beautiful, incredibly smart, creative and sensitive. We love her so much.

Ginny would love to travel back to China and discover her roots. She'd also like to discover what she can about her first family. She thinks a lot about this and more so than some of the other kids, would like to know where she came from. I hope some of the changes happening in China will allow her to find out more information. Minimally, I know how much she will enjoy a trip to China.

It's always amazing to look back over these first pictures and see the change that has taken place.

Managing our expectations

2010-06-04T23:40:00.000-07:00

Hang on. This could be a long one. I've been inspired by a long-time friend to refocus on my blogging...

One of my favorite things to say is that adoptive parents know much sooner (sometimes) than biological parents that our kids are unique individuals, separate from us. We support them and help shape and guide them, but they are born with their own personalities. By now, it seems that every adoptive parent I've talked to, has read the story of the woman who put her young Russian son back on the plane to Russia, alone, because she couldn't manage him anymore. Her adoption did not work out. It's easy to judge from afar, but because I've struggled with some of our kids and know people who face very challenging situations, it's best to manage these judgements.

Adoption disruption is nothing new. In fact, it's been going on forever. But lately, it's been making it's way to the front page and more people are paying attention. Adopting a child, just like giving birth to a child, doesn't come with any guarantees. Often in adoption there are more inherent risks such as drug exposure, abuse, or mental health issues, just to name a few. If you adopt an older child, a child that has been institutionalized, or a child that has had a complete lack of nutrition and stimulation, the opportunity for challenges increase.

As parents, our job is to raise our children to be happy and healthy adults. Each family has their own unique culture and aspirations they pass on to their kids. We all have hopes and dreams for our children as they grow. We expect, based on our own upbringing and experiences, that our children will follow a certain path. By the time we'd adopted our fifth child, my expectations were getting a reality check. When our sixth child came home far more developmentally delayed than we had expected, it was a full blown wake up call. As we added the next six kids, we of course became much more flexible in our expectations, and much more experienced parents. I look back at how I raised my now 13 year old considering some the challenges she had, and I cringe. I know much more now.

Now, when I am asked to speak at adoption training seminars, I try to focus on a couple of main ideas--one, that flexibility is critical. Set your expectations low. Expect to be pleasantly surprised, but try to guard yourself against diappointment. I'll give you two quotes to consider on this topic. As Forrest Gump said, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." Or, perhaps something far more profound by my inspiring friend, and very first social worker, Diane Lostrangio. She said it so eloquently:

Adopted children often have mixed feelings because life changing decisions were made that completely altered the trajectory of their lives and they had no say in the decisions made. In the best case outcome, our children’s feelings will be a mix of gains and losses, joy and grief. (Click to link to Diane's new blog "Making Family Work"! A fabulous resource!)

The other advice I try to focus on is giving yourself time to bond. Sometimes it doesn't happen right away. Many parents, especially women, really beat themselves up over this. I like to share my story very honestly. I can't tell you how many times I've thought to myself, "What have I done?" or "I just want these kids to go away". For me, this feeling eventually passed, but you might be surprised to know that in some cases it took a very long time. And there are times when it can still cross my mind. When I started sharing these feelings openly with fellow adoptive moms, I found out I was not alone at all. In fact, my feelings were very similar to many of my friends.

If your an adoptive parent, or are considering adoption, connect with as many people as you can and make sure you are well prepared. Read, read and read some more. Network. And most of all, manage your expectations. I try to shoot for making sure my kids can love and be loved. College, good paying jobs, owning a home--these things pale in comparison to being able to love and be loved--that takes up all my focus as it is. If the other stuff happens, great. It will be icing on the cake.

Then and now...

2010-06-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

Our oldest daughter is now 16. She is a joy to parent, as are all our kids. I look at her as the one that started it all. If it hadn't been for her and the experience we had, we would have never ventured out a second time. And look where we are now? Emma was recently named MVP for her high school junior varsity tennis team. She's also in the marching band, orchestra, Model UN and takes honors courses. She pretty much gets straight A's. Hers is a happy story that started out a bit rocky.

Emma was adopted at age 3 1/2 from China. She had a heart defect and needed open heart surgery, which she had when she was 4. She same from an orphanage that wasn't one of the better ones at the time, and was discovered by an amazing woman, Lin, who was committed to finding homes for kids from this orphanage. At the time, it was the orphanage where "special needs" kids were sent. This is a broad category that included severely handicapped kids, as well as those that just needed medical attention, like Emma. While there's not much we know about Emma's early life, we were told she arrived at 9 months of age, and she stayed there until we adopted her more than two years later. During that time, she was mostly in her crib, which was evident by her inability to walk up and down stairs. After she'd been home about 6 months, she told me that "babies don't go outside...stay in beds".

Emma had the opportunity to travel back to China when she was 12 to bring home our son Wyatt. She and my husband visited her orphanage where they met the nanny or "Auntie" who had cared for her. She remembered Emma! Since Emma's departure, some independent and local businessmen have taken an interest in the orphanage and invested money for many improvements. It was not the same place 10 years later, which is true for many orphanages in China.

And Emma--well, she's done well. Despite a rocky start in life, she's thrived, as I mentioned above. She's got a great sense of humor (sarcastic and silly--which I like to think she got from me) and is wonderfully talented. As the oldest kid at home with 11 younger siblings, I'm sure she often dreams of going off to college to the "quiet" of the dorms, but she's still got a couple years with us full-time, and I plan on enjoying it.

Teens, tweens and other girl stories from the front

2010-02-24T22:19:00.000-08:00

Man, this week has been girl drama week. It seems like there's been someone crying, pouting, mad, screaming, or something for way too long. In our journey from diapers to pads, it there's an eruption of emotions happening, and I feel like I've been giving the same talk, or some version of it, way too often. "I'm your mom and it's my job to make sure you grow up to be a nice person. That means when you are acting rude, inconsiderate or mean, I need to bring it to your attention. Your job is to fix your behavior so you can have fun. No fix, no fun. It's pretty simple." This talk seems to be applicable to all ages. In the past two weeks, I've used it on my 4 year old daughter, my 5 year old daughter, my 10 year old daughter, my 11 year old daughter and my 13 year old daughter. Sometimes I change it up a bit, because I get bored with it. Last week, I emailed a version of it to my almost 16 year old daughter. Tonite I gave the talk about three times to the same kid, which is super annoying to me, and I'm sure to her too. She went to bed mad. My attitude was, "Don't go away mad. Just go away." Usually, I try to work it out before bed time, but I was too tired.

This kind of stuff really makes me appreciate the different kinds of talks I have with my boys. For them it's things like, "It's not okay to kick your brother in the nuts." or "You need to actually wash your body in the shower." or "See that roll of paper by the toilet? Let's talk again about what that's for." or "From now on you must sit down when you pee."

So, this is why a mom with 12 kids really needs her sweet little chihuahua who always adores her and is always happy to see her...and who never talks back.

I'm posting a happy picture of Kiki and Adaecia modeling the sweaters Grandma made them.

I have not blogged FOREVER!

2010-02-22T19:48:00.000-08:00

Oh my gosh. It's been an eternity and so much has been happening and so many funny things have been said. I am sad to say that my participation in Facebook has superceded my blogging. Let me begin with my inspiration for blogging tonite. Carter (almost 8) informed me that apparently he, Malachi (age 8) and Wyatt (age 8) all have assigned seats on the bus. This means that there is now a piece of tape with their names on it for all to see. Why? Because they are out of control on the bus. The poor bus driver. It is not uncommon for him to pull the bus over two times between school and our house. My boys are almost always involved. Oh, did I mention that it's less than a 1 mile trip? Yes. I'm so proud.

Right after I logged in, here's what I heard from the kitchen.

Koby: "I can take William down with a kick in the nuts."

This is telling me two things: one--my 9 year old son is rude and two--I should probably be in the kitchen and not on the computer. But because I don't hear screaming, I'm going to hide in here. William is 4 and feisty, so while I have no doubt that Koby's statement could be true, my money is on William.

Scott is now working full-time in his old job as a meter reader for the local utility company. After almost 10 years at home, he was really ready to get back into the workforce. He's on a temporary assignment that should most likely go through August. We really like having the money and after months, I think I'm used to the situation. It was really hard! I've been spoiled for a long time. My sister is helping out with the kids. Kiki and William were at the YMCA for a while and they loved it, but it was really expensive. When Scott got layed off for about a week, we pulled them out, and now their wonderful and amazing Aunt Stacy comes over and takes care of them--tantrums and all. Grandma is also helping with errands and dentist appointments. In the Fall, William and Kiki will start kindergarten and it will be a lot easier. We can really use the money, so it's nice.

Emma is about to turn 16, which is freaking crazy. She'll be taking driver's ed in June and we expect her to have her license by the end of the summer. Ginny and Bektu, both straight A students in junior high, are making the trek to LA this summer to stay with Aunt Jean and Uncle Gary. They'll enjoy their stay.

I'm going to try to be a better blogger, so that I have some way to keep track of all my memories!

YMCA Stars

2009-11-22T09:20:00.000-08:00

Students of the Month!

2009-11-21T14:35:00.000-08:00

We are so proud of Ginny and Bektu, who have transitioned well in the 7th grade. They were both named Student of the Month for September 2009. They are recognized, along with some other students, for their commitment to their work and outstanding behavior. They are both straight A students as well! They are making our lives pretty darn easy! Congratulations, girls!

Channeling Richard Simmons?

2009-10-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

It's more fun with just the girls...

2009-10-12T20:17:00.000-07:00

Especially for a parent...so when Emma told us she was going to homecoming with a group of girlfriends, I was all for it. So much less stressful than a "date". And less awkward. Remembering those feelings just makes me cringe. Emma looked gorgeous--I know I'm biased but it's totally true. After the dance, she went to a friends house and toasted marshmellows. A fun night!

Surviving the flu

2009-10-03T20:47:00.000-07:00

So the last two weeks here have been NUTS. So sick. Everyone. Well, not Scott. He never gets it. High fevers, coughs, sore throats, you name it. The little ones were particularly sick. But today, we are getting better. Adaecia is the only one with a lingering fever. We're hopeful she'll be better by Monday. I need to get out of this house. I was home sick with up to 10 kids at a time. It's just no fun when you don't get to lay in bed yourself. The kids were really good, and we had lots of supplies. I checked out the CDC website and apparently Washington State had the 2nd highest outbreak in the nation. Scary. Well, hopefully we're through it now. I wonder if you can catch it again? I've heard from several people that the stomach flu is going around too. I think I would shoot myself if we got that. Enjoy some pictures of our plight...

Lifesaver.

Essentials.

Trying to keep the germs to a minimum, I sterilized the toothbrushes every few days.

Ahhh...yucky medicine, as Koby & Zella call it.

Ginny & Selena--the chills is more fun with a sister.

Home with the flu...and 7 kids

2009-09-29T12:58:00.000-07:00

Sure. Stomach flu would be much worse. I keep trying to tell myself that. But I feel lousy. Super lousy. And the seven kids that are home with me are in various needs of care...some on the mend and ready to go back to school, some just starting. Several have to use the nebulizor every few hours (including me!). Is it H1N1, you ask? Not according to the two that were actually tested, but what difference does it make? It feels like a really lousy flu...high fever, cough, aches, chills, stomach ache. Ugh!

So here are all the questions William has asked me this morning. My tylenol is kicking in so I thought I should document this for humor's sake:

Where do owls go when it's windy?
What about birds?
What about whales?
What about sharks?
Do whales and sharks eat grass?
What is a bird's nest made out of?
Do bird’s eat sticks?
How do owl's wink?
Do sharks fins get warm under the water?
Do me have a fever?
Is me still sick?

BACKPACKS!

2009-09-08T11:51:00.000-07:00

Back to School!

2009-09-08T11:39:00.000-07:00

Well, there have been some big changes around here over the past two weeks! Scott is back to work full-time (although it is only a temp job). He took a position as a meter reader for the utility company...yes, it's the same job he did for 20 years before he started his career as a house-husband and full-time dad. But, our grocery budget was really in need of some supplementing, so when the opportunity came up, we jumped at it. This means that Kiki and William are in full-time preschool at the YMCA. They are so excited. They get swimming lessons twice a week, and our downtown Y is brand new. Tootie goes to a 1/2 day program at the Y before her afternoon Kindergarten starts. The rest of the kiddies are in school all day. So, I have morning duty and drop Tootie, Kiki and William off, and Scott has afternoon duty. He gets off at 3:30pm and should be home just in time for the kids to get off the bus. It is certainly going to be nice to have some extra income, even after daycare expenses.I took today off work so I could get everyone off the first day, and it is so scary quiet around here right now. I can't remember the last time I was completely home alone in this house! Good things the dogs are here to totally bark at nothing every five minutes. Otherwise I might go insane with all the silence.

Posting 1st day pics here! Enjoy...

Wow! Long time no blog!

2009-09-08T11:28:00.000-07:00

Summer has been flying by and it seems I haven't caught up on my blogging since our big vacation at the Oregon Coast. Yep, we loaded up 12 kids (13 if you count my neice) and drove 12 hours to the Oregon Coast where we played for a week. It was so much fun. Of course, it was a bit disappointing to have the boys declare that the lego cars from McDonald's were the BEST PART of vacation. And then when pressed, they decided maybe it was watching Cat in the Hat (with Mike Myers) about 15 times a day. Wow! So the tidepools, hiking, kite flying, ocean swimming, skim boarding, marshmellow roasting and shell collecting was secondary to McDonald's Happy Meal toys and a DVD movie? Completely good to know for next year. Much cheaper to just to McDonald's and Blockbuster!

Of course, I think they did enjoy all the other things, and I know I enjoyed being in a ginormous house with 4 bathrooms. That was a slice of heaven! Here are some more choice pics from our big adventure:

Fun in the sun...

2009-08-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

Today was an awesome day. Lots of playing at the beach for the kids...I got some good reading in. I'm almost done with the 4th Twilight book. I don't know what Stephen King is talking about...it's a great series! So good! Tonight we are going to bonfire and make s'mores. The kids have been having a great time. We love the house we are staying in. Well worth the drive!

Waiting on the fire pit...

2009-08-12T15:43:00.001-07:00

Today is rainy and the kids are dying to use the firepit. We've got all the s'mores fixings and everything. Hopefully tomorrow will be dryer so we can fire it up!

First run to the beach...

2009-08-12T15:38:00.001-07:00

Yes, it was a bit overwhelming, after 12 hours in the car, to have 12 kids racing to the water. There was a lot of falling down, some crying (no, it wasn't me) and lots of laughs. Scott had to take Emma to the ER as she cut her leg on the fireplace after about 2 minutes in the house. Other than that, it's been great. Today is a rainy day, which just means lots of wet clothes. Can't keep them off the beach.

I throw up...

2009-08-03T21:32:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I am sure there is some rule in the Book of Moms that says I am not supposed to find this so freaking hysterical, but I can't help it. Every time I watch this, I laugh until I cry. Poor Kiki! I just love how she walks around looking where to put it. She brings it out to the table in her hand! And then how unphased we are by the whole thing...I'm like, "Where?" Emma's like, "Again??" Scott's just like, "Kiki, you're gross." Just so you know...I totally took her temperature, changed her clothes and made sure she was fine, which she was. It was just a case of overeating!

So you think YOU can dance????

2009-07-12T18:41:00.000-07:00

Check it...

JAWS

2009-07-08T21:07:00.000-07:00

One of my all time favorite stories of childhood is when my Dad took me to see JAWS. I was 8 or 9 years old, and it was the BIGGEST hit movie of the year. EVERYONE was seeing it. My parents kept saying "No". We lived in Santa Barbara, and my Dad's reason was that if I saw the movie, I would never want to swim in the ocean again. Of course, I completely denied it. I would swim in the ocean! I promised! So he finally relented and took me to see it on the condition that I swim three strokes in the ocean immediate after the movie. Well, I was TERRIFIED. OMG! Does anyone remember how scary that movie was back then? The beginning scene? So of course there was NO WAY I was swimming in the ocean. NEVER. For more than a year I hemmed and hawed with one excuse or another. That movie so haunted me that I used to imagine that sharks would come out of the drain of the tub while bathing or the pool during swim team. Honestly. I would panic swimming over that pool drain.

Finally, we went on a family vacation to Hawaii. I was so happy just swimming in the pool. But, my Dad was determined to make me live up to my end of the bargain, so off I went to the beach. He said I had to take three strokes in the ocean, at least up to my armpits. I mustered all my courage and entered the warm ocean water, slowly creeping in deeper and deeper, eyes peeled for any sharks ready to attack. I was so scared! My heart was pounding! When I finally got out deep enough to satisfy my Dad, I got ready to do my three strokes and he yells out, "Of course you realize there are WAAAAAAAY more sharks here because the water is warm!" I did three strokes at lightning speed and high tailed it out of there.

Eventually, living in SB, I had to get over my fear. My friends and I were always at the beach during the summer, and spent lots of time swimming in the ocean. In high school, my girlfriends and I would swim out to the buoys, located about 50 yards off shore. We'd hang on them for awhile, goofing around. Of course the ocean in SB wasn't clear like in Hawaii, so you couldn't see anything in the water really, and inevitably, someone would start with the JAWS theme song, "Duh duh..." You know the one. We'd all laugh like we didn't care. A couple of super awkward seconds would go by and then we would HAUL ASS back to the shore, sure that a shark was about to attack.

My boys, like many boys their age, are fascinated with sharks. Koby has recently discovered JAWS clips on YouTube and watches them constantly. I should probably just rent the movie for them. Remember how stupid JAWS II and III were? Was there a JAWS IV? Or like a SON OF JAWS? He shows the clips to all his brothers. So today, on my way out the door, I find this picture on the table. I was dying. He's got all their names! I didn't even know that Quint had a first name! Who knows that? It's so hilarious. Anyway, to anyone else with childhood JAWS memories, enjoy:

Tootie turns 5!

2009-07-06T13:21:00.000-07:00

Along with America's birthday this weekend, Adaecia turned 5. It was a SUPER hot weekend so we busted out the water slide (Thanks Tarr family! We totally appreciate it!). Adaecia's birth sister came by with her mom and sis, and it was a fun day. We fired up the grill, had hot dogs and burgers--and the kids' all time favorite--soda pop. Who needs Disneyland, honestly? When you've got a cooler, some ice and some pop, the Conley kids are totally set. It's hard to believe that our little Tootie will be starting kindergarten in a couple short months. Time really does fly! She's in a Sponge Bob phase right now and loves to go around saying, "You're going down, Tubby!" and other key SB quotes. She got some roller skates from Grandma & Grandpa and Aunt Stacy, Uncle Sam & Margo. Mom and Dad got her a CD player. She's also recently into music, which is so cute. She and the other little kids like to groove out to Beyonce or Ciara. Hilarious! I'll have to try to catch some video of it. After dinner each night, Zella has been organizing dance parties. They all go upstairs and shake their groove things. Here are some pics from our fun day:

Tootie, about to blow out her 5 candles.

Sisters.

Charmaine, Adaecia's sister.

Gotta love generic pop! It was on mega-sale!

"Brothers" by Koby

2009-06-23T22:19:00.001-07:00

Koby: "Emma, who do you think is the most beautiful?"

Emma: "Oh, definitely you Koby."

Koby: "Awww, Emma. I knew you'd say that."

Mowhawk Men

2009-06-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

It has been Wyatt's tradition to get a mohawk each summer, and when your big sister is a hairdresser, it's easy enough. Now Carter and Mal are in on it. Koby declined to go this route, but he is still a big wimp when it comes to getting his hair cut. Scott got a faux hawk, which he hates now. He said "no" but I gave Kim the sign and she did it anyway. Oh well. His hair grows quickly. The boys look darling...I only wish these pics came out better.

Ye Olde Mandibble

2009-06-23T20:13:00.001-07:00

Mandy is getting old. I don't know if I can take it. She is the happiest, best dog ever! She is such a joy, and now that she's deaf, thunderstorms don't bother her anymore. I hope she sticks around for a few more years. She's pretty darn healthy, after all.

Sacked out!

2009-06-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

She is so cute when she's sleeping! Well, she's cute awake too, but less likely to stomp her feet when she's sacked out...our darling Kiki is a sweetheart most of the time.

William turns 4!

2009-06-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

Awwww, my babies are growing up! (Don't worry people...I'm not tempted to adopt again...really this time!)William is already 4 and he's so big! These aren't the best pictures because we discovered in the midst of the party that our bathtub problem was potentially a HUGE problem and it sent me into a panic. The Roto Rooter dude told us our pipe was "zippered" (he was snaking the line during the party) and that we'd have to rip the tub out and jack hammer up the floor to find the leak. YIKES! Luckily, our friends Pat (family handyman) and Tom (bandmate and plumber) came to our rescue and we hit the jackpot. The hole in the line was accessible and got fixed the next day. My worst nightmare of having only one bathroom all summer wasn't ever realized and we didn't have to sell our belongings to pay for the repair.

Anyway, I was running back and forth between the basement and the party, so I honestly have no idea why Koby is all decked out like a cowboy. But who doesn't want a cowboy at their party? William got a Spiderman ball, a fun truck and a scooter. On to the next birthday!

I heart my blankets...

2009-06-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

What's a parent to do? Do you deny your son the silky blue blankets he is attached to? Do you ignore their presence? I've really got to google this blanket attachment thing and figure out what to do. I personally think it's funny, but it drives my mother crazy. In the scheme of things to worry about, this one seems mighty low down to me. As long as Koby is minding his blanket manners (no blankets at the table, no whipping the dogs or siblings with blankets), then I guess it's okay. We'll just keep on rolling with Big Silky and Big Silky II.

Summer Trouble

2009-06-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

The little ladies around here are always up for some trouble. With siblings around all day long, it makes for many more opportunities. Margo, Tootie and Kiki are both inseparable and continually bickering. Nothing like a triangle of girls to get things going!

Carter turns 7!

2009-05-31T19:42:00.000-07:00

Carter turned 7 years old in May, marking two years since he joined our family. He certainly knows what a birthday is all about now! Two years ago, he and William looked so confused (check out May 2007 blog pics and you'll see what I mean...) They certainly caught on quickly, and Carter enjoyed all the attention. He was so polite and sweet as he looked at each drawing his brothers and sisters had made for him. "Thank you so much, Kiki!", he would say. It was really cute. I was a proud momma. It's amazing to see my mischievous little boy maturing into a nice, young man.

Hawaiian Days!

2009-05-31T19:37:00.000-07:00

School is nearing the end, which means time for classroom parties and celebrations, along with the annual tightening of our budget. Having the kids home all day everyday means our grocery bill increases like crazy! The kids were excited to celebrate Hawaiian Days at school. Don't they look cute? Well, Zella is making a nasty face...

Goodbye to Zanny...

2009-05-25T19:19:00.000-07:00

This week, we had to say goodbye to our "Teeny Tiny", Zanny. She was 16 years old and had been with us about 11 years. She was such a sweet little spirit. She only weighed 4lbs, and she was more like a kitten, than a dog. Zanny came down with her 3rd round of bladder stones, and it was just too much to put her through. I was under the impression that Amy would perhaps miss her. Afterall, the two of them, both Chihuahuas, spent hours holed up in the sanctuary of our bedroom. Two little ladies, on giant Costco dog beds. They were clannish and liked to hang together, joined in their mutual disgust of our 5 boys. The boys were always too loud and too fast for them. But, just like Scott said, Amy doesn't seem to care one bit. I don't know why I thought she would. She's the type of dog that only cares about herself. The relationship, even when you think it's two-sided, is really only all about Amy getting what she wants. Now Amy has the whole place to herself most of the time. She likes to cruise around after 10pm when all the kids are alseep and when Ginny's evil poodle Lilly is locked up. I am sure Amy will miss not being able to eat Zanny's food. Poor little Zannybo. We will miss our little teeny tiny and were glad to have had her as long as we did.

It's hard to believe...

2009-05-15T14:30:00.000-07:00

that my oldest daughter is in high school. I don't feel like I've been out of high school long enough to have a daughter that age. Last night, I drove her and her two friends to the Taylor Swift concert. They were so excited and it was really fun seeing them take pictures of the tour bus, like it was the coolest thing ever. They were pretty ready to ditch me and would have rather I just drop them off, but we were meeting a friend of mine who had the tickets. So, they were forced to hang around with me. I had Tootie and William with me too, so that was really harshing their mellow. The whole scene was a like some sort of teen girl mind warp. The outfits were funny/ridiculous in some cases and super cute in others. I stood there, a pre-schooler holding each of my hands, thinking of my BFF Jill and how it just seemed like yesterday that we were the ones getting ready to go out. I was probably thinking of Jill because one of Emma's friends took forever to come out to the car. She wasn't ready yet. We were forever waiting for Jill in our early teens, and sitting in this girl's driveway, making small talk with her Dad, reminded me of so many times in my life. Emma had her hair all curled and they had their cell phones with camera ready to go. They had money to buy their shirts. It was such a big deal!

Emma asked for a ticket to the concert for her birthday, but sadly enough, they sold out in 20 minutes! Amazing to me still. Luckily, I've got some great connections and my good friend's sister had three extra. When I told Emma last week, I thought her head would explode. God, being a teenager, as full of angst as it can be, can be pretty fun. If you are lucky, you are not worrying about big issues. You are focusing on your hair and a concert. They were all so cute, chit chatting about the show and about who was going and who wasn't. And then when they saw that tour bus, they were so excited. It was just a big motor home wrapped with Taylor Swift images. They were snapping pics right and left, as were hundreds of other teen girls. Hardly any boys there at all. It was 98.9% girls for sure.

Anyway, it just made me think that there is no way I can be 43 years old, right? I was just in high school. I was just going to my first concert. I remember that so vividly. I was in the 7th grade, and me and my friend Simone went to see KISS at the fabulous Forum, in Inglewood, CA. It's called something else now, and I always forget what it is called. Last night, I was in bed and asleep before Emma even got home! Good thing Scott waited up!

I used to think I was a feminist...

2009-05-14T21:05:00.001-07:00

...but as I sat plunging our toilet for the past 25 minutes, I decided that it is definitely a man's job. I do NOT ever want that job. Did I mention that the toilet was filled with POOP?? And that Scott is at band practice? And all the boys needed showers? And it was filled to the BRIM with murky brown water? And our plunger sucks? And it kept turning inside out and I would have to fix it? And yuck was splashed all over the place? SO disgusting. So sick. So, I was thinking, women should not have to do that job. And I don't think they should take out the garbage either. Or mow the lawn. Or possibly even pick up dog poop. I know that is really sexist but I figure if I raise my boys to know that they should ALWAYS do these jobs, along with laundry, cooking and auto repair, I could be set as an old lady. I can just live with each of them for a couple months at a time and just hop from house to house. It will be SWEET. Anyway, I think we need to get some sort of turbo plunger or something. Pure nastiness. Aren't you glad I shared?

Family Entertainment

2009-05-10T13:07:00.000-07:00

It's mean, I know...but so funny. And just so you know, we did not suggest the outfit. William did this all on his own. We only took pictures of it!

Dress Up Dudes

2009-05-10T13:04:00.001-07:00

They have quite the dramatic flair!

Big Hair

2009-05-10T13:01:00.000-07:00

Oh my! So Beyonce from Austin Powers! She is fabulous. I love her hair all big and wild like this, but it best in braids, as Kiki is not up for combing all week.

Zella's ankle surgery

2009-05-10T12:57:00.000-07:00

Just when we thought Zella could NOT drive us more crazy, we are now managing her through her surgery recovery. This girl has so much energy, it's amazing. And she does not know how to take it easy. All day is an argument of what she can't do and why. As if having your foot bandaged up after surgery is not enough of an excuse. Then she's out and about so much on her crutches, her underarms hurt. I thought I would make use of the time by tightening her locks. Oh no. She does not want to do that. I will be so ready to get her healed and back into Soccer and Gymnastics!

The Player

2009-05-10T12:56:00.001-07:00

I think a picture speaks a thousand words:

Selena turns 11!

2009-05-10T12:50:00.000-07:00

Selena celebrated her first American birthday with us this week. We had a fun time, eating pizza, cake and watching her open presents. She was thrilled to have the attention. We got her a bike only because she's been telling us for 8 months that was what she wanted. Hah! Big sister Lisa, and her husband Tony, joined us. It's always great to see them.

Graduation!

2009-05-10T12:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have to second Koby's thoughts when he said, "That was so long and booooorring. I'm starving!" Why I wanted to walk through the ceremony I don't know, but it's ALL over. School, the ceremony...all of it. I feel a bit lost this a.m. Guess I better help out with the laundry.

My mom and sister organized a BBQ, so here are pics of the ceremony an

d the party. It was really cute because the kids decorated the whole house with streamers after I left (I had to get there early, so I could stand around for an hour in the dumb hat). They were really excited for me to see all their hard work when I got home. We had a fun night. My wonderful friend, neighbor and fellow adoptive mom, Terri, came with her kids. She brought me some pretty flowers and gave me a book and some sparkling cider. She's awesome. I got tons of love and attention, only to wake up and get it all over again on Mother's Day! Wow!

Superstars!

2009-05-10T12:40:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if I ever posted this, but I am too lazy to dig thru the blog to see. I think I posted the "try out" photos, but the kids were asked to participate in the YMCA/YWCA capital campaign ad effort. Ginny, Zella, Mal and Koby were selected. Mal and Koby made it onto billboards all over town.

Rock and roll!!

2009-05-05T13:58:00.000-07:00

Here's a pic of Misspent Youth rocking out at Bloomsday. Is Scott doing a jumping jack? I dunno. They're all so cute! I'm a MY groupie.

I'm single, by the way...

2009-05-03T16:35:00.000-07:00

Oh, that headline got your attention! No, it's not me. Of course not! But it's a line a woman gave my husband today when his band, Misspent Youth, played at Riverfront Park. Today is Bloomsday, which is a huge running race in Spokane with hundreds of thousands of people. I don't know how many really, but it's a lot. So the Misspent Youth played after the race and during one of the songs when my rambunctious husband was hopping around off the stage and into the dancing audience, a woman said, "I'm single, by the way..." Awwww. That made his day! A man who stays home full-time with his 12 kids and does laundry all day needs this kind of outside feedback once and awhile. Plus, he's totally cute! Hello! I tell him that, but it's way better if a random stranger hits on you once and awhile. I told the kids that story and they laughed and said, "Why?" Awwwww. That took the wind out of his sails. It's kind of funny to be at that age where it's considered "gross" if you are romantic. I mean, I remember feeling that way about my parents and my friends parents. But now our kids feel that way about us. "Ewwwwwwwwww, gross!", they shout if we hug or kiss. Hilarious! I sure don't feel old and neither does Scott, especially today!

Here's a picture of the band rehearsing at Tom's house. This is when Scott still had long hair. He recently decided to cut it all off because it was a pain. I liked it long, but he likes it better short.

Thesis is DONE!

2009-05-03T13:43:00.000-07:00

I cannot even begin to say how stoked I am to have turned in my final thesis for its signature pages! It is titled The Race Dialogue: Portraits of Discussions in Transracial Adoptive Families. In just six days, I graduate from Gonzaga University with my MA in Communication & Leadership, a course of study that has taken three years. Three years, ago, when I thought it would be a "good idea" to get my MA, we only had five kids. As the primary income provider, I thought it was a good thing to have for long-term job security. I went into it thinking, "Well, I already know everything, so it will be cake." WRONG! It was honestly a fabulous (albeit challenging) course of study and I feel so thankful to have had the opportunity, but I AM SO GLAD it's over! Now with 12 kids, it seems I am often holed up in my office working on a paper or reading. I'm looking forward to having way more time to spend with the kids. Scott, I'm sure, is also excited that I'll be done, because now I have no excuse not to help with the laundry on the weekends! He, as always, is incredibly supportive and amazing. I couldn't do it without him. So, I'm blogging this, as I put off my very last paper that is due on Thursday. I turned in my final thesis for signatures on Saturday, and will walk through graduation ceremonies on Saturday! Then, I have six months until I have to figure out how to start making student loan payments. Yikes! I decided to walk through the ceremonies because I didn't as an undergrad. My dad died about a month before I graduated and the ceremony was on Father's Day. I just couldn't deal at the time. So, I thought this would be fun. Although now that it's getting closer, it seems a little dumb and long and I'm kind of regretting it. We're going to BBQ after with the fam. One thing is certain--I will definitely have the largest cheering section!

I'm attaching my wordle of my thesis abstract. Have you checked out wordle yet? If not, go to www.wordle. net:

Two questions.

2009-05-02T18:03:00.001-07:00

1. How can you be "tired" when you slept until 2pm?

2. Why are teenagers so generally apathetic?

Did you take my camera?

2009-04-27T20:29:00.000-07:00

Mom: "Kiki, did you take my camera?"

Kiki: "No..."

Mom: "Are you sure? Because I saw you holding it."

Kiki: "No, Mom. I didn't."

William: "Mom, him didn't."

Results: See for yourself. I have to admit, some of them aren't that bad...but I didn't post the one of the dog's body, because I can't really tell which part it is, and that's a bit gross...

How does this happen?

2009-04-27T20:16:00.000-07:00

How is it that we wound up with two girls on crutches at the same time? And how is it that it is THESE TWO GIRLS? Of all the people to be laid up, it's my two crazy ladies. So, basically, Zella had a misdiagnosed ankle from about 8 months ago. She's been in a cast twice and on crutches, but it never gets better. Well, that's because it's BROKEN! We went to a new ortho and he said, "Oh, yeah. That's broken." She had an MRI and now she is scheduled for surgery on May 6. At about the same time, Selena's ankle was bothering her. I wasn't sure if it was drama or pain. But sure enough, she's got tendonitis, so is in a boot and crutches for 6 weeks. Yesterday, they were bored and insisted on going to work with me (I also brought 4 boys) and then grocery shopping. Of course, after only two aisles of shopping, they are complaining that they are tired and their underarms hurt. All of which I explained to them before we left. They assured me they would not be tired or bored. And they were both. Having all four boys in the store is a whole other blog (or not) and why I thought it would be okay to let Mal and Koby drive the carts--well, that was just insanity.

Lunch Talk

2009-04-26T13:41:00.000-07:00

William (age 3): "Raise your hand if you're a China boy!"

Kiki (age 3): "MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (raising hand)

William: "Kiki, you not a boy. Wyatt the only China boy!"

Kiki: "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..."

Selena (age 10): "Will you guys please be quiet!"

Why so many pencils?

2009-04-25T16:59:00.000-07:00

I know that I shouldn't let things like this bug me. With 12 kids, there are bound to be things out of place. And really...I accept that totally and completely. I'm really not hung up on total neatness. But for the past few months, I find myself increasingly irritated by three things, in the order of MOST annoying:

Random yellow pencils EVERYWHERE. I mean everywhere. At all times. Mixed in with dishes, on my bed, under the kitchen table, on the couch, on the deck, on the lawn, in the sink, in with the toothbrushes. Every night, as I'm shutting down the house to go to bed, pushing chairs in, turning off lights, it seems like they are laying around trying to make me mad. Seriously. Why are there so many pencils everywhere?
Hot Wheels. Now, they are not as common as the pencils thankfully, and with 5 boys, it's hardly any surprise that there would be TONS of these everywhere. It seems they are always in the shower.
Dirty socks. You would think this would be more irritating to me than the pencils, because it is certainly more gross. But luckily, while it is not uncommon, there are never as many of them. If there are dirty socks, they are usually Ginny's or Malachi's.

Some of you may be wondering why there is such of flurry of blogging from me today. Two reasons: it's raining and I'm avoiding a paper that is due. My 2nd to last paper before I graduate. And I'm just so over this school business. Oh, I better go...there is a Mach 5 and a Mach 6 Matchbox car being placed under my nose right now by Koby.

Gang of Little Ladies

2009-04-25T11:21:00.000-07:00

Tootie is the pack leader of her little ladies gang. It includes Kiki and cousin Margo. The scariest thing about this gang is how much everyone makes Tootie's sick cow noises and copies her faces. It's like having 3 little Tootie's around. Hopefully, now that the Toots is older, she'll have a better influence on her little sister and cousin. Hopefully she won't teach them to draw on mirrors with cheese!

Fashionistas

2009-04-25T10:24:00.000-07:00

Our newest daughters from Ethiopia have fit in amazingly well. In fact, it's been really amazing how well, and when it comes to Selena and Zella, we often marvel at how much they are alike. They are typically fast friends or in the midst of an explosive argument. Past arguments that have reached emotional overload have included whether or not Tigger is called "Tigger" or "Tiger" on Winnie the Pooh or how long a fish could live out of water, one minute (per Selena) or one and half minutes (per Zella). Now that Selena's understanding of the English language is much improved, there are less of these trivial conflicts, but they still break out. They are both wild, emotional girls, with strong opinions. It typically makes for lots of entertainment, like dance and fashion shows. They are now sharing a room (see Room Swap entry) and it's worked out really well. They are virtually inseparable and are becoming closer and closer. Zella really wanted a "brown" sister for so long, so for her, their relationship provides a special comfort, I think. Recently, we bought some pony tail extensions to make hairdos quick and fun. They had lots of fun with them, but it seems the novelty has worn off. They borrowed the camera the other day and I just downloaded the pics, only to find some of these shots:

Self Portrait

2009-04-03T16:57:00.000-07:00

Wyatt had his last post-surgery visit and everything looks great. He's now ready to tackle speech therapy again. Time will tell how improved his speech can become. He was super brave--no one likes to get a spaghetti noodle camera put down their nose, and Wyatt is no exception. He cried a little, but let us get a good look. Here's a pic he drew of himself at school. Love it!

Room Swap!!!

2009-03-15T13:52:00.001-07:00

Well, it's that time again at the Conley House. It seems a room never stays the same for too long. Now that Bektu, Selam & Kiki have been home for 7 months (hard to believe!), there have been some natural leanings toward roomings. Plus, now there are two girls per room vs. all three in one.

Bektu, who is 13, was more than ready to stop sharing a room with her 3 year old sister, Kiki, who still thinks of Bektu as her personal servant. It's funny, because that was on of our "worries" going into this adoption--would Bektu fight us in parenting Kiki? Would she grieve relinquishing her parenting role and try to hold on? Well, she couldn't wait to hand Kiki over to us. She was more than ready to have her own bed, and now her own room with Ginny. A little space from your sisters who you have slept with your whole life is not such a bad thing, apprently. Ginny and Bektu are both in 6th grade, they both love reading (to the point of threats during the school week), they both love knick knacks (especially those kind from the Dollar Store) and they'll both be in 7th grade next year, which means they need to get up earlier than the others. They are also totally into homework and are super tidy.

Zella and Selam (Selena) are both kind of wild, love music and are slobby. They don't like to be away from the family, so being on the main floor is a good fit for them. They also LOVE dancing to music and watching movies on the weekends. They always fight me in going to bed early on the weekends, so now I can put them in bed and they can watch a movie. Their room used to be the living room, which we really have no use for, so it's been Zella and Tootie's room for about a year.

Kiki and Tootie are the "little girls" of the family, so it's better that they pair up now. They don't really care too much and it's better that Kiki is on the main floor now, so she can rely on us during the night vs. her older sisters. They think it's totally sweet and loved organizing their room. The biggest hit for them is that they inherited Ginny's shoe sorter cupboard. They are using it to put all their little things, like stuffed animals, rocks, necklaces and purses. It's pretty cute.

Our move went pretty smoothly for two reasons. One, the girls really did a good job of packing up and organizing. Two, our friends Pat & Mary came over an helped. Oh my gosh...it was so great. It went really quickly, even though it was slightly embarrassing to have them see all the crap we have and the grime when we moved beds and couches. It builds up so fast. But a good mopping and dusting really helped. Plus, I got to throw away tons of stuff too. We sorted all the clothes as we relocated dressers, which is always great. We get so many amazing donations from people, that keep our kids well dressed.

We made a quick movie to show the day! Enjoy...

Queen Elizabeth & The Vulture

2009-03-15T13:37:00.000-07:00

When you are on an extremely tight budget, sometimes you have to scrimp on things like dog grooming. So, this winter, I've been trimming the poodles myself, much to the embarrassment of my family. The first time, Lilly ended up looking like Queen Elizabeth I, all white and smooth around the face, with a big ruffly neck. I thought it was cute and so did Ginny. The second time around, Cluny wasn't so lucky...he ended up with what I've termed the Vulture Cut. Scott now refuses to take him to our regular groomer for their Spring cut, as he says it's too embarrassing. He says it's my responsibility to go out in public with him. I think it is quite creative and that Cluny could star in some Dr. Suess movie now. Perhaps it will catch on, and people will request the Vulture Cut. You never know. Stranger things have happened.

Emma turns 15!

2009-03-15T12:34:00.001-07:00

Emma turned 15 recently, and that means it's time for Driver's Education Training. It's hard to believe that Emma is old enough to even consider driving. Time totally flies! So, we got her what every kids wants for their birthday--the training manual for her written test. We were thinking we could avoid the $300-$400 class she needs but apparently in WA State, it's mandatory, unless you want to wait to drive until you are 18. That was not going to work with Emma's plans, so we'll have to figure it out. She's in tennis now, so pretty busy after school for awhile, but will most likely take the class and get her learner's permit in May or June. We told her she can drive the 15 passenger van as much as she wants--of course she'd rather NOT drive at all, then be seen driving that beast. She can barely handle riding in it--completely worried that she'll be seen in it by one of her friends. Awwww....high school. All those worries. Doesn't it make you want to go back???? No way! We'll keep you posted Emma's driving adventures.

Sheldon

2009-03-14T22:34:00.000-07:00

Well, imagine my surprise when I came home late from work on Friday to find a 7th dog wandering around my house. I can hardly be upset...it's how my kids are raised. Find a stray dog...bring it home. So, this little boy sheltie is now staying with us, hoping his owners will call and find him. We're calling him Sheldon, because he's a Sheltie, and because it's Plankton's real name, and Sheldon seems to have tons of plankton on his teeth.

Sheldon is also quite the ladies man, and he's completely smitten with Ginny's poodle Lilly. Here's a picture of him putting his moves on Amy. She was not amused by Sheldon in the least. Primarily because she's a chihuahua, but also because she is 14 and pretty dang bitchy.

Two Peas in a Pod

2009-02-28T20:26:00.001-08:00

We've been plagued with strep this week--and I really mean plagued. 10 out of 12 kids came down with it. That's a lot of co-pays and A LOT of antibiotics. Thankfully, everyone seems to be on the mend now. Bektu is still feeling a bit out of it, but she managed to eat dinner with us tonight, so I'm hopeful she'll be better soon. She HATES to miss school. It's like true heartbreak for her.

So after a long week, Tootie, one of the healthy ones (only Tootie and Carter didn't get it), got to spend the day at her cousin's house. Margo and Tootie are best friends. They love each other. Margo mimics Tootie, and Tootie prances around as the ring leader. But it's pretty cute, because they have a great time together and are often giggling like crazy. So Stacy, my sister, sent these pics from their day together.

Pretty cute!

Wyatt's Surgery

2009-02-21T09:00:00.000-08:00

Wyatt had surgery yesterday to hopefully help his speech improve. The procedure is called Pharyngeal Flap Surgery and if you want to really know what it is, you can check it out on wikipedia at the link below:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pharyngeal_flap_surgery

It's a pretty common surgery for cleft lip/palate kids, but one we were pretty hesitant to undertake, considering the selection of surgeons we had in Spokane. Wyatt's mouth/throat don't move the way they need to, and so as hard as he tries, and as much speech therapy as we go to, there are sounds he won't be able to make. We had been set on trying a device called a palatal lift, which is somewhat like a retainer, but because Wyatt has some growth issues, the molars that need to come in to accommodate that device, just weren't coming in. In the meantime, we're missing valuable learning time. Wyatt is already 7, but is still in Kindergarten due to his overall developmental and cognitive delays. We're not really sure what his potential is going to be, after the severe deprivation he experienced as a child in an institution. We're hopeful that his brain will continue to wake up.

So, we were waiting and waiting on these molars...I keep in touch with the public health nurse who manages the cleft lip/palate team in Spokane. She is fabulous and this is an amazing public service for families in our area. She told me a new surgeon had recently relocated to our area from Southern California and that he'd had great results with the procedure--something we hadn't been hearing about others in town. We had a consultation and were very impressed. I had lots of questions on complications and success rates, and he answered them all. So needless to say, Wyatt had the surgery.

He is doing GREAT! He was supposed to be in ICU the first night, but got moved into a regular room pretty quickly. He was rolling his eyes at my jokes. We're hoping he gets to come home today! But maybe tomorrow.

Carter and Smoothie

2009-01-16T21:55:00.000-08:00

Is there really anything cuter than your kindergartner bringing home their class guinea pig for the weekend? Carter was so dang excited about Smoothie. He must have asked me 20 times, "Are you going to take my picture with Smoothie now?" So here it is:

This is what trouble looks like...

2009-01-11T19:31:00.000-08:00

So, this is how you look when you've just been told that when you pushed your sister off the couch, you actually broke her arm in two places. Yes, William, our rowdy 3 year old, pushed Adaecia, our persnickety 4 year old, off the couch. Who knows why. She was crying and couldn't be consoled, not even with some Dr. Pepper. That's when you know it's serious. She wasn't swollen and after a few minutes of ice, we decided Urgent Care was in order. So off Scott went...we were thinking sprained wrist maybe. What we found out was that she broke both the bones in her forearm. So they set her in a splint and she needs to go see the pediatric orthopedist before they set it, just to "make sure" it's okay. I think this means to make sure she doesn't have surgery. I'm trying not to think about that.

But, the good news is that Emma broke her pinky playing volleyball a few months ago and Zella had a cast on her leg to guard a bruised ligament as well, so we're in tight with ortho! They know us well. Poor little Tootie...now she's milking the situation, telling me she needs Dr. Pepper to make her arm feel better. Hah!

5 feet of snow + 41 degrees = wet basement!

2009-01-11T13:44:00.000-08:00

Lots of friends and family from around the country have emailed about our crazy Winter weather. Well, it's been beautiful, fun, challenging, amazing and now...soggy. That's right! We had a big melt and our poor basement just couldn't take it. Plus, as we found out 5 years ago when Ginny left the hose on overnight, insurance doesn't cover this type of thing. So we're just dealing with it. It hasn't been that bad. The boys room was pretty sloshy and the downstairs bathroom was pretty wet for a while. We've got fans and heaters on and the boys are wearing rubber boots to bed at night. They think this is totally fun--just one big adventure. We might have to replace the carpet, but we're taking the "wait and see" approach.

Another baby joins the family!
Oh, you know you are so shocked to see that headline! But don't worry, it's just a baby guinea pig. We took in 4 rescue guinea pigs to "foster" thru the Winter. One had twins on 12/3 and then I came home a few nights ago and there was yet another tiny baby running around! Needless to say, Scott is pretty psyched about having even MORE gp's around. And Carter's Kindergarten sent him home with "Smoothie" the class pig this weekend. You never know what's going to happen around here.

Grown Up Haircuts

2009-01-05T21:25:00.000-08:00

OMG! Don't Carter and William look so handsome with their grown up haircuts? Big sister Kim made a house call and the boys wanted something other than the "do-it-yourself" cut Mom gives them. I think I am going to have a lot of girls hanging around my house in a few years! Carter went first and got so much praise and attention that William had to join in. Wyatt and Scott got cuts too. Scott just wanted a trim but Kim and I decided he needed a faux hawk. We promised him we weren't going to do it, but Kim did it anyway. It looks really cool. He won't let me take a picture so you'll have to use your imagination. But it's a bit funky and looks good.

The Santa Letter

2008-12-24T21:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, this was so cute. The boys wanted to get milk and cookies out for Santa. They were inspired by our Christmas Eve movie, Elf, which is so hilarious. (Smiling's my favorite!) Selam and Zella cleaned out the opening to the chimney...I was thinking, "Hey, this whole Santa thing is getting me some super sweet cleaning!" I can't remember the last time we moved the dog beds and all the recycling boxes and really cleaned that area out--it's been, well, at least a year. Selam and Kiki seem pretty intrigued by this whole Santa thing. Bektu tends to have a wry smile on her face and has pretty much figured the whole thing out.

Koby decided they needed to write a note to Santa, so I captured a few shots. I have to make up for the fact that I haven't posted anything in a month...that, and I'm trying to kill time until all these kids REALLY go to bed, so we can get busy and crash ourselves. In the picture, Mal and Carter are wearing the hats that Grandma made for them. They LOVED them and wore them to bed! Merry Christmas everyone! And to all a good night!

The Christmas Pig

2008-12-24T21:41:00.000-08:00

Our good friends the Tyries passed on a Christmas ham to us...Emma took this as a direct challenge to stretch her culinary skills and immediately googled the recipe. She mixed honey, brown sugar, corn starch, red chili pepper flakes and some other stuff, and created this masterpiece. Now to me, it's just a pig's butt and kind of gross, but all the carnivores in the family declared it "delicious" and "perfect". So thanks Pat & Mary! There twasn't a scrap of pig left in the house. Poor piggie!

12 Kids of Christmas...and a cockatiel

2008-12-24T21:39:00.001-08:00

Snow Ethiopians

2008-12-24T21:33:00.000-08:00

One of the best things about adopting older kids? SNOW. That's right. If you dread winter, there is nothing like seeing it through the eyes of older kids adopted from tropical regions of the world. The girls LOVED it and even though they are often "freezing", they cannot get enough of it. They think it is some sort of Winter Wonderland. And after getting about 3 feet in one week, I have to admit...it kind of is. And it's so dang cold, that it's staying beautiful.

Here's some pics of the girls enjoying their day out! Oh, and they thought snow days were pretty cool too, as school was closed for two whole days!

Boys Turkey Day = No Turkey!

2008-12-04T19:51:00.000-08:00

One of the unintended consequences of adopting 12 kids is potentially creating huge and loud holiday dinner gatherings. At this point, quite a few of our kids are pretty little--2nd grade or under. With this in mind, we decided to give my parents a break, so Scott and the boys stayed home and had their own Thanksgiving, while the girls and I went next door to my Mom & Dad's for dinner with my sister and her family. I won't tell you how quickly my mom agreed to this idea--but let's just say I barely got the suggestion out of my mouth before she practically shouted, "That sounds great!" Just kidding. She wasn't quite this enthusiastic, but to a woman who never raised boys, our crew can be pretty overwhelming.

Well, the boys declared it as the BEST THANKSGIVING EVER! They had cookies, jolly ranchers, gummy worms, cheetos, pop tarts, licorice, gum, pizza and pumpkin pie. That last one was Mal's request--I don't think anyone else likes it. But the girls were actually jealous, I think. Luckily, there was some candy leftover by the time we got home, and the boys still go turkey sandwiches for dinner that night. It was a win win! Except I didn't much like having my family split up. Next year, we'll look for another solution. Eventually the boys will be bigger, and I can imagine them watching the game instead of running up and down my parents hallway, their monster trucks leaving tire marks on the walls. Until then, we'll look for creative ways to get everyone together.

Artificial twins

2008-12-04T19:31:00.001-08:00

We have three sets of "artificial twins" in our house--Mal & Koby, Carter & Wyatt and Kiki & William. Artificial twins is an adoption term that describes the process of adopting two biologically unrelated kids who are the same age. It seems that many adoption professionals are against this practice, but we've had absolutely zero issue with it so far. That can be due to many reasons--the personalities of the twins, the fact that we have a large family, our parenting style, pure luck...who knows. We often describe our kids as the "girls" (Emma, Bektu, Ginny, Selena, Zella), the "boys" (Koby, Mal, Wyatt, Carter) and the "littles" (Adaecia, William, Kiki). It's like three distinct set of kids. This is how the playing breaks out for the most part too. The "boys" actually works great because they are all just 6 months apart in age. They are this great self-contained unit that loves to play, watch movies and just hang out. William, by nature of gender, is often included in this foursome, but he's usually removed after not too long because he likes to jump on everyone's head and it typically ends in him hurting someone or something--like Carter's glasses. Perhaps he's got a future as a wrestler?

Kiki and William are the newest "twins", not counting the new guinea pig babies. William has been pretty good at not jumping on her head, although they do seem to spend quite a bit of time telling on each other. There was some circling of each other and establishing territories at first, but now they seem to have worked it out. They are no strangers to the red time out chair however, but hey, that's three! They'll be in the same grade conceivably, so we're hoping they stay friends. William is pretty tall for his age, now surpassing Adaecia, who is a full year older.